3 Tools to Manage Challenging Emotions in the Moment
Simple yet powerful tools for self-regulation
Learning to code can be a transformative experience, filled with moments of intense challenge and profound growth. At Makers, we understand that the learning curve in coding not only tests technical skills but also emotional resilience.
Self-regulation, a key component of emotional intelligence (EQ), plays a significant role in supporting our learners through their coding journeys, helping them build a strong growth mindset and enhance their Learning Quotient (LQ) — the capacity to learn.
Here are 3 simple but powerful ways to help yourself when experiencing challenging emotions:
Understanding the Difference Between Feelings and Emotions
It’s helpful to distinguish between feelings and emotions. Feelings are subjective experiences of emotions; they are personal and biographical, deeply entwined with our memories and expectations. Emotions, on the other hand, are often more physiological, triggered by our interpretations of external events.
When we perceive a situation as a threat to our safety or self-identity, emotions can surge, prompting a fight-or-flight response. At this juncture, with some self-awareness we are afforded a choice: react defensively and let our learning be hampered, or respond constructively and use the experience to foster growth. Below, are 3 tools to help you ‘take your power back’ from difficult emotions.
Tool 1: “Go Inside the Body” (Affect Labelling)
One effective way to manage overwhelming emotions is through “affect labelling,” a technique where you identify and name what you are feeling. For example, consciously acknowledging, “I am feeling anxious,” can significantly reduce the emotional intensity.
Furthermore, locate the physical sensations in your body associated with your emotion and describe what you feel from a place of neutral observation. Recognise that these sensations are happening in your body, while uncomfortable, are temporary. While you give your emotions space to come be, and go, avoid assigning a meaning or story to them.
Affect labelling helps shift processing from the amygdala (the emotion centre of the brain) to the prefrontal cortex (the reasoning centre), enabling a more measured response to situations and enhancing your ability to self-regulate.
Affect labelling may not be suitable for individuals with severe mental health disorders, those in acute emotional crises, or those with limited emotional awareness, and should be practiced with professional guidance in such cases.
Tool 2: “I Feel the Way I Feel and That’s OK”
The second tool involves adopting the phrase, “I feel the way I feel and that’s OK.” We might feel guilty or upset about our emotional responses, but feeling bad about feeling bad compounds the stress.
By accepting your emotional state without judgment, you foster an environment of self-compassion. This not only prevents emotional escalation but also supports emotional intelligence by acknowledging and validating your feelings in a constructive way.
When you’re experiencing a difficult emotion repeat the phrase “I feel the way I feel and that’s OK.” to yourself until you start to believe it. This is not about relinquishing your responsibilities or giving up, but rather, allowing yourself a safe space to be human, finding your ground, and then dealing with things from a more centred place.
Tool 3: Breath
Deep, controlled breathing is a simple yet profound way to manage emotions. Focusing on extending your exhales activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which calms the mind and creates more space to process emotions.
Visualising breathing into and around your emotions to create more ‘space’ for them allows them to be present without overwhelming you, which can help stabilise your mental state and support more rational responses to challenges.
A little better is still better
The goal isn’t to eliminate emotions but to manage them. Don’t expect to go from feeling awful to amazing but, by practicing these tools, you can, give yourself some relief and more effectively navigate challenging emotions.
Each tool provides a strategy to transform reactive impulses into more thoughtful responses. Through practices like “Go inside the body”, “I feel the way I feel and that’s OK”, “Breath”, you may find you feel increasingly less overtaken by emotions and are able to respond better in the moment.
